Honey, have a seat.

Have several seats, actually.

No, Reiki is not sex work, but recently my colleagues and I have all been getting a spate of requests from what I’ll politely refer to as, “gentlemen callers.” These men are not nice.

Sex work is legitimate work and sex workers are legitimate workers who deserve respect from the people hiring them. What those of us who don’t offer sexual elements to our services have been experiencing is a taste of the disrespect that often accompanies sex work and it’s heartbreaking.

Some sex workers do obtain a Reiki certification as a work-around solution for the legality issues surrounding their work, but that doesn’t mean that all Reiki practitioners are sex workers. However, our profession seems to be getting painted with a fairly broad brush as a result.

I don’t begrudge the sex workers themselves for being sex workers. My fellow healers and I are all very supportive of sex workers and think their profession should be properly legitimized. I’m a little bummed that my field is being misconstrued as sex work, but that’s really only because I don’t like having to interact with the rude men who request sex. It also breaks my heart to learn firsthand how sex workers are spoken to.

So, even though I’m fairly certain that no gentleman caller would ever take the time to read this, allow me to give a list of Do’s and Don’ts (mostly Don’ts) based on my recent experience:

• Don’t call me past 10 pm
• Don’t text after midnight asking me to, “Come over and give me one a them Reiki massages.”
• Don’t get offended and yell at me when I clarify that I’m not a sex worker.
• Don’t curse at me or call me slurs when I won’t accept your offer of “Three hundred fucking dollars!”
• Don’t ask me to book a healing session for you if you don’t currently have the money to pay. Payment is due at time of service, period.
• Don’t assume all Reiki practitioners are sex workers.

• DO take the time to look at the website or online listings of each healer to ascertain if they are or are not a sex worker. The reviews are your best bet – most of the reviews will be from men and contain phrases like, “helped me with my problems,” “really good at helping with problems,” “good emotional release of problems,” things like that. “Problems” is a code word. If you’re actually looking for a sex worker, start there.
• DO, please, for the LOVE OF GOD speak respectfully to all people, regardless of their line of work!
• DO pay your healers, sexual or otherwise, in advance or at the time of service.
• DO respect sex workers and treat them like people!!!!

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.