Honey, have a seat.

Have several seats, actually.

No, Reiki is not sex work, but recently my colleagues and I have all been getting a spate of requests from what I’ll politely refer to as, “gentlemen callers.” They are not nice.

At this point we are all wondering if there are true sex workers out there who are using Reiki healing as a cover for their business. It would make sense given that Reiki certifications are fairly easy to obtain and the industry itself is currently unregulated. Our profession seems to be getting painted with a fairly broad brush as a result.

I don’t begrudge the sex workers themselves for being sex workers. My fellow healers and I are all very supportive of sex workers and think their profession should be properly legitimized. I’m a little bummed that my field is being misconstrued as sex work, but that’s really only because I don’t like having to interact with the rude men who request sex. It also breaks my heart to learn firsthand how sex workers are spoken to.

So, even though I’m fairly certain that no gentleman caller would ever take the time to read this, allow me to give a list of Do’s and Don’ts (mostly Don’ts) based on my recent experience:

• Don’t call me past 10 pm
• Don’t text after midnight asking me to, “Come over and give me one a them Reiki massages.”
• Don’t get offended and yell at me when I clarify that I’m not a sex worker.
• Don’t curse at me when I won’t accept your offer of “Three hundred fucking dollars!”
• Don’t ask me to book a healing session for you if you don’t currently have the money to pay. Payment is due at time of service, period.
• Don’t assume all Reiki healers are sex workers.

• DO take the time to look at the website of each healer to ascertain if they are or are not a sex worker.
• DO speak respectfully to all people, regardless of their line of work.
• DO pay your healers, sexual or otherwise, in advance or at the time of service.
• DO respect sex workers and treat them like people.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.