Recently (ahem, NOW) I was feeling a crisis of confidence. Feeling dissatisfied with my skills, my personality, the feeling that I have a persona rather than a personality, just all of it. I prayed to Spirit, “Please, I want to surrender this feeling! What do I have to do? I’ll do anything, I’ll cut my own arms off, just tell me how to make this feeling go away!”
Below is a transcript of what came next:
Spirit: “That sounds drastic. What if you just loved yourself instead?”
Me: “I usually do okay at loving myself, and I’m trying now. Why isn’t it working this time?”
S: “Anyone can love themselves on their best days. It’s easy to love yourself when you already feel good and things are going well. What about on the days you don’t feel great? Can you love yourself when you’re not feeling your best — and let that be your current best — without trying to fix yourself, fix your emotions, or rush back to feeling good? Can you rest in the knowledge that your Divinity doesn’t diminish when you are sad or questioning yourself, AND ALSO that your sadness and questioning don’t diminish your value?”
I don’t have the answer to those questions yet, but I’m grateful for being able to hear them. Blessed be.